"Finchè vivrò io sarò un Rossonero..."

Ooops, we have some good news too :)

2011-12-27T12:34:00.004+01:00

Oh by the way... On the picture you can see a tiny little bone bridge between the 2 parts. So after 4 years we have some new bone built up in there! I almost forgot to mention :P

Still not strong enough to keep them together w/out the metals but I've been advised to have another spongiosaplasty as a boost.

Last year we spoke about having the metals taken out as they already seemed to start loosening but it's been said they either have to replace the metals or I need a cast for several months. Now replacing them seems to be impossible (for me) because the upper bone should be ruined again in order to make it... I am waiting for my doctors to decide.

Going backwards

2011-12-27T12:12:00.003+01:00

Christmas gift... It HURTS, so I went to have a new x-ray last week and it shows that all the upper screws are loose. It needs to be fixed asap, we already contacted allianz and also the hospital for a quote. Last time when I had to show up at the insurer's doc he said it is gonna be all right, he will sign any further surgeries to be done in Graz as he agrees that they have to be done out there. Now we will see.

I have a lot of sleepless nights these weeks because of the pain. Not wanting to get back to Fentanyl but I don't even know if it would work for this kind of pain.

allianz promised to give their answer in January...

We are having a school break till 3rd January so I have time to re-organize myself :)

Hurghada bus accident

2011-11-09T05:34:00.001+01:00

There was a bus accident in Egypt last weekend that took the lives of 11 Hungarian tourists. Of course it brought back memories but I didn’t have big issues until yesterday, when one of my colleagues asked if I have been touched by it and I started thinking. Finally I can’t sleep again (it’s 4 am) and thought I would share my feelings.

The accident happened in Hurghada to about 40 people, the first of the 3 buses of Best Reisen’s group on their way to the airport. They were to fly home in a few hours.

It’s hard to find the words and somehow inappropriate with only those information that I read online. I know media well enough…

Look, I opened a beer so it is going to be a long and sentimental post!

I have so many thoughts inside my little head, want to write them out but it is very hard to make sentences right now.

The most important and saddest thing is that 11 people died.
The accident happened at night just like our one - and of course – the driver got away with a few bruises. At least he has been arrested, I know many says it doesn’t matter, doesn’t change a thing but believe me it does. My main anger is still towards our driver who walked away unhurt. Having him in jail would not bring back those who have died, would not make our suffering easier but seeing that cunt behind bars would have been the best day of my life. Fuck that moron…

As I said I only have information from the online media, so only some of the deceased have been ‘highlighted’.
There was a pregnant woman. No matter if someone is young, old, pregnant or not, it is a disaster to lose someone but I’m mostly touched by her. Perhaps she was only 3 weeks pregnant but what do you imagine?
I see a woman 2 weeks before the Egyptian holiday, painting her little one’s bedroom, buying a crib, thinking about names and posting photos of her growing belly to Facebook. I see a woman asking her husband “Darling, we will have baby soon, why not going on a holiday while we have the time?“. I see a widower sitting in an empty flat staring at the walls and asking why.

There were also children amongst the dead, 3 members of the same family but I rather try not to find things out on my own as I don’t know anything about them. It is just sad and painful.

In the first articles there was a boy/young man mentioned whose arm has been amputated. Needless to say, it also brings up many feelings. I don’t know how old he is, if he has any other injuries, how he is right now. But I will get some details and if he is old enough for a ‘grown-up’ talk, I’ll try to reach him to ask if I can help. It is not the same injury but I may help him with the psychic side. Or who knows, can a ruined psyche help anyone?

Well these are my main thoughts for now. I have been invited to an Ethics lesson on Friday (by my former history teacher) to meet the students and let them ask anything they are curious about. Last year I already attended one of these lessons and the children were very nice, some of them don’t seem to be mature enough to speak with but the others are sweet.
They had reasonable questions and my colleague said they had a nice conversation after I left and she thought it was useful for them to meet someone… er… with special needs? difficulties? antisocial?
Well, to think of what (not) to do/ask if they come across someone who is disabled in any way.

Pictures always make me accept and understand things easier, so here are a few to show you the weight of the recent accident:

(by the way it just came to my mind, the bus seems to be much less wrecked than our and there were much more injured and dead. it is official that the driver drove faster than the limit but these pictures make it obvious)

All photos are by MTI – Magyar Távirati Iroda

Hurghada MTI pics

DIAVETÍTÉS MEGTEKINTÉSE

AZ ÖSSZES LETÖLTÉSE

Technorati-címkék: bus,accident,Hurghada,Hurgada,Egypt,2011,Hungarian,Hungary

It’s been a long year…

2011-09-24T20:31:00.001+02:00

…so far. I disappeared because I didn’t want to think about the whole thing. We had exams, I’ve been (and still am) working a lot etc.

This week we had the 3rd court hearing on Thursday. Only my sister had to attend and it was fortunately fast, not even their lawyer was there. Only mine, my sister and the magistrate.
I’m fed up with my lawyer, he is such a moron.
My hearing was held in March or April, the next one will be in March 2012. A doctor will be detached in 2 months to examine the state of my arm and IF they can review all the information needed, we may have a sentence in March.

This Monday we had our final parts of the DTP exams and we all (7) passed! At the beginning there were about 30 members of the group, then they started disappearing. 9 of us checked in for the exams and only 7 attended. But we are a good team, had a LOT OF problems with this school and we had to prepare for the exams in 1,5 months. But it is over now and I’m feeling free. We were all stressed of the whole thing as nobody knew any exact information about the exams from the school’s staff.

I’m still working at the elementary school. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes I take work home for the nights and weekends. But I go to the office whenever I want and come home the same way.

Usually I’m at home, not going out much. Since I take the antidepressant I am a new person. I don’t feel like crying all day and bear with pressure much better. I try to relax, do things I enjoy and forget what I don’t want to do/think of/hear of.

Hopefully it is over in 6 months and that will be the turning point I’m so much waiting for.

TTYL,
Eve

Sorry…

2010-12-12T22:54:00.001+01:00

…for not posting, I’m in a bad mood but still alive. Preparing for Christmas. Anyways things aren’t going the way they should.

Preparing for surgery

2010-11-13T19:33:00.001+01:00

The last x-ray has shown that the osteosynthesis has losened so just like last year a new surgery is needed. Great… I contacted the hospital and been waiting for their answer, a quotation and date. Now they asked for a new x-ray (already made) and a CT scan… That takes ages here. So I’m going to ask if it is really needed, then hopefully arrange the surgeries. And I really hope that this time it won’t take a year for allianz to cover the costs…

Yay, is that a pink elephant at the window?!

2010-09-04T21:52:00.003+02:00

As I wrote I’ve been to the neurosurgery for pain relief. The doctor was very kind, he gave me a wrong receipt but the good medication :) Had the good receipt from the fam. doctor, got my former Fentanyl patch back. I have less bad nights now… It’s a bit worse since Monday’s clash with the handrail but much better than before :)

As I went to the doctor (because of catching the cold last week) I asked him if he knows any help to my psychic problems. He told me there is a new psychoterapy/psychosomatics department at the hospital I used to go for physiotherapy. I called them and had an appointment last Saturday. We’ve been speaking a lot, agreed that the way they do things there is not the one that could help me. (They have group psychotherapy, I would hate that :P And that also wouldn’t help on the deeper problems I have, maybe something on the surface but not the main issues)
He prescribed an antidepressant, and asked me to go back in 2 weeks. Gave me his number to call him anytime I feel/experience any strange thing I didn’t already have. It’s called Sertraline and sounds to be a tough one reading the info sheet. Antidepressants increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior at young adults of major depressive disorder (MDD) and other psychiatric disorders. Anyway between the age of 24 and 65 the risk is lower. Yay, I’m 25 :D Patients who are started on antidepressant therapy should be monitored appropriately and observed closely for clinical worsening, suicidality or unusual changes in behavior. Families and caregivers should be advised of the need for close observation and communication with the prescriber.

Next appointment is in 1 week, so far I didn’t experience major changes. Sertraline’s effect can build up after even 2-4 weeks, no surprise. Some days I sleep ok, but usually rather bad. Just like before. Maybe I am not as close to crying as before but I always had better and worse periods, we’ll see.

Drive safely…

2010-09-04T21:52:00.001+02:00

August

2010-09-04T21:49:00.001+02:00

Okay, I know I’m behind with blogging, stop complaining :D

What is even worse is that I’m behind with studying too! I already had 3 lessons from the 2nd module and still nothing… First I didn’t have my laptop for a week (at least it works properly now), missed typing the first lesson and then I just wasn’t able to catch up. Tomorrow is the 4th lesson, then I’ll really have to make it :)

Oh, by the way I moved the blog, between my 2 Google accounts :) I had my first mail address used on YouTube then they forced me to melt it with a Google account, didn’t want to make it that time so I had 2. But now it caused problems to sign in and out every time to use Gmail, YouTube, Blogger etc…

I passed my first exam with 85%, was on holiday that week but couldn’t study at all! It was so hot, I kept my notes near me all day but just didn’t have the strength to start it. Later, on the day of the exam I woke up in the dawn and studied all. Not that bad :)

I received a call from the police, they asked if I can help finding the bus because they haven’t yet inspected it. WHAT??????????????
3 fuckin’ years have past since then!!!!! I made a little search, I now know where it is but it’s been disassembled, so it can not be inspected anymore… What did they expect?!
On the other side there was something else. There was no autopsy after the 3 fatalities. This is normal in Austria but not here in Hungary… Here the law says without an autopsy report the police can’t accuse the driver for their death! Because his lawyer can say OH WAIT, THEY MIGHT HAVE DIED OF HEART ATTACK, PULMONARY EMBOLISM ETC!!! Geez, I’m so sick of them! Every time I speak with the lieutenant I feel a little sorry for her. She is trying to get over this silly case and can’t step forward because of those morons who write our acts… Finally she was able to deal with it, spoke with the prosecutor and they decided to accuse the driver for the deaths too (as there is a pretty minor chance to have 3 person dying of pulmonary embolism at the same time on a bus in their sleep…)
I’m getting more and more curious and excited about it. It is not changing inside me, I want to see him in jail every single day and can’t stop thinking about it until I know what they decide.

During the last 2 months we had a lot of holidays but I wasn’t that active. Last week I was at home, in bed with a cold. Before that in the free time I’ve been cleaning my room, threw out a lot of stuff and released some space on my shelves :)

This week I went back to work and on the first day I bashed my upper arm in a handrail when going upstairs. It hurts a lot, got swollen and blue for a few days, now it looks better but still causes pain. Wrote to my doctor to ask for an x-ray, he might be out of office this week, because I got no answer... Anyway I’ll call him next Monday, I’m worried of it.

I attended our first match of the season. For me it was very emotional. First because I haven’t been to many matches recently but also because we played Vasas, the opponent we played first after the accident. I arrived too early, 1 hour before kick-off. I had far too much time alone to think, even cried a little. Didn’t want to meet many people, we stayed away from the crowd (if I can use this word to a Hungarian championship match :P).
The fun part was that a week before the match I’ve been thinking about a guy, saying “oh yes, I’m sure he’ll be happy to see me” and he was! :D But apart from meeting a few people I again didn’t feel to be part of the whole thing. I have so many bad memories and I’m not sure if I miss it or not…

A week off!

2010-07-13T01:12:00.001+02:00

It’s such a shame, I hate abandoned blogs, so I keep coming back :) On working weeks I am tired, during weekends I’m at school or I prepare to the next lesson…

Now we are on holiday and I have a whole week off just at the best time as I’ll have an exam next Saturday.
Unfortunately it is pretty hot here in Hungary and we don’t even want to go out of the house.

A few weeks ago the ‘dispatched’ doctor visited me to check my current status and see the past documentation. (This is for the case against the driver). I had a new x-ray made before the appointment, it shows positive changes but my Hungarian doctor said we still have to wait A YEAR to see how it goes on. I also want to hear what my Austrian doctor says, I sent him an e-mail a few days ago.
I’m sick of it. Sick of all the waiting and the everydays. Regularly in a 2-3-week time I reach a newer nadir and getting out of it seem harder and harder.
At least today I got a hospital assignment to the neurosurgery because I have been told that only they can give me (prescribe) the proper pain medication. Nice, after 2,5 years, my family doctor never told this to me, but I told my doctor (in the hospital) that I have strong and everyday pain, even stronger at night and on bad-weather days so he told me that only a neurosurgeon can prescribe what I need (a headshot?!). We have tried some painkillers but none of the works. The one that was said to be the strongest didn’t do anything but kept me awake all night…

This is how it looked after the accident, then after last year’s surgery and now.

Moreover I’ll have a hearing in October for the other case with the insurance company. My parents too, we got the same time to attend the court but it won’t work. I don’t want them to hear anything about what I go through. My lawyer earns enough to reprsent them… We’ll see.

I feel weak. In this weather even the 10-minute walk to my workplace is too much for me, I have no strength. I barely go out and now I definitely feel its result. I need to get back to training, I stopped when the course started and I’ve been rather doing homeworks or having a rest.

This week I try to prepare for the weekend. That school still stinks. They placed our week-A Saturday 10.00-15.00 lesson to week-B 15.00-20.00. That sucks. And now it is again on the same week as my Bosnian course that I managed to place to this week 2 months ago. And I have to come home in the night then go to work half-dead the following day. The positive side of it? I have only 9 months remaining after the exam :D Many people from the group have already left, some realized that this is not what they expected. Others don’t like the changes. Constant changes… I’m curious to see how many will stay until the end. So far I like the course itself very much but I will never ever recommend this school not even to my enemies… Perhaps they enjoy ruining students’ plans and schedule. I have mates who come to the lesson from the countryside, they don’t have train backwards that time. Others organized their job to week-B, now what? Ridiculous.

I’ve been watching the World Cup but the matches were not the best I have ever seen, it is better to say the TV was on in front of me rather than ‘I’ve been watching’. The whole event had no atmosphere and nothing that could draw my attention. Oooh Africa. And that’s all I can tell about it :P

No plans for the week, the whole country is alarmed because of the swelter. I hope to have some cool-down for the weekend.

I need some sleep, will be back ‘soon’ :)

My 1st free weekend…

2010-05-23T21:33:00.001+02:00

…for months! Yesterday we had no lesson as the teacher is away and next week my Bosnian teacher is abroad too so I’m trying to use my weekends for making things I planned for ages. Nothing special nor enjoyable, just cleaning up my room, dying my hair (better say having it dyed by my sister) and reading or having a bubble bath surrounded with candles :D

Our parents are on a 2-week holiday, this (the first) week was stormy from the beginning. Today the weather was better but our garden died. The nights were stormy too, we have floods all over the country. We once again feel happy to live on a hill and far from rivers… The wind was shaking our shutters, broke the plants and smaller trees and keps us awake all night. (My sister’s room is on the street front just like mine). This weather is crazy and gets even crazier with the years.

I was alone in the office on Thursday-Friday. Thursday was boring, I have been designing charters for the school. Friday was crazy with a lot of tasks… The only thing my colleague asked me was to water her plant, guess if I forget it… Shame on me!

I got several Bosian movies and going watch one now. They are useful for the pronounciation and most of them are subtitled in English so I even understand them :D
I had a lot of homework lately and am more and more successful. Sometimes I can build sentences without mistakes LOL. That infletion will kill me one day…

Anyway I think I will be well physically and financially in a few months but the mental side is a different matter. Last week I had a ‘usual’ bad day that comes every 2-3 weeks, when I can’t sleep, can’t stop crying then can’t wake up in the morning or concentrate during the day. I went to work but came home at 12 (after 2 hrs). I need to find a solution but even thinking about it makes me break down…
I wonder whether this will ever end or I’ll collapse under the burdens before?!

No alliance with allianz

2010-04-17T15:57:00.001+02:00

We didn’t have big changes lately.
My lawyer still doesn’t seem to care at all but I’m working on replacing him and quit the agreement signed.
Somebody at allianz promised him (if it really happened…) that they will pay another deposit and he told me he will go to her this week to arrange things but again no sign of having it happened.
Anyway I don’t understand why they are considering another deposit instead of paying the indemnity. I have a ‘final state’ since last September that was said not to improve any more. (While I feel it worsened since stopping physiotherapy). Every time I ask my lawyer what they are waiting for he says he doesn’t know, they don’t give any clear answer etc…

I’m waiting for the letter from the doctor appointed by the police. I’m worried about having a new x-ray because I have never seen major changes neither on the latest pictures and I have fear of repeating the spongiosa plastic (transplantation of bone tissue) :(

I spoke with the lieutenant on 18th February and she said it will take up to 3 months to order every passangers in so they have 1 month remaining :)

Last week I was at my family doctor’s office but as always he was not there… His replacement is an old folk that I don’t trust much. Next week I give another try, I need a document for the school (even if they say they are UNSURE if DTP students need that or not) and I also want to ask for some other or stronger painkiller. It seems I get used to the one I have and it doesn’t function at it’s best, when we have bad weather I have much stronger pain and there is no use of taking more of this medicine - it doesn’t help but makes me sleepy and cranky instead :)

17th April

2010-04-17T15:17:00.001+02:00

I had a lot of changes in my life recently, school and work keep me busier than ever…
I’m trying to replan my days and get used to some order but it is hard after 2,5 years of doing nothing.

Last Saturday I had the 1st DTP (Desktop Publishing) lesson. It almost killed me :D I had Bosnian lesson the previous day, then I woke up at 7.30, was at school between 10-15.00 and came home as a zombie.
The teacher is good, everything he says is clear and fortunately there are a lot of students who have smaller knowledge than mine :D
BUT the school itself sucks. The classroom is DIRTY, PCs are old and many not even work.

They promised to improve conditions :P

Employees at the secretariat cannot organize anything. I transferred the school fee and got an e-mail 2 days later that the amount arrived, I can go to take the invoice. On the 1st day we had only a meeting to arrange groups and meet our teacher, that day I was told that they have too much work they can’t give me the invoice, I have to wait in the queue for all the students who want to register. (On the day of the meeting, great). 2 weeks later just before the lesson I went to them again, they said they don’t see me in the invoices’ folder, I told them I will come back after the lesson. Surprise, they couldn’t give me the invoice again. I wonder if I will get it next weekend…
These are just part of my new experiences but I’m lazy to write everything down and also bored of them :P

Last week I managed to place my Bosnian lesson on week B while DTP is on week A so the weekends won’t be so messy and busy.

Spiritually I’m still down, definitely needed these new things and change some old ones. I really miss attending my teams’ matches but still don’t feel ‘ready’. Now I’m working on my inner issues and plan to get back to the good old matchdays from the start of the next season. I wish days would go faster :)

Busy Spring

2010-03-16T21:47:00.001+01:00

Last Tuesday I got a job! :) I already started on Wednesday and work 4 hours between 10:00-14:00, just perfect.
I rejected Neckermann because they didn’t want to pay enough :P And some days later I got the job in the school.

I like it a lot, my colleagues are very nice and some of my former teachers are still teaching here :) It is very funny to be their co-worker.

These 4 hours are more than enough, I’m exhausted and need to go to sleep earlier than ever.

The course starts in 2 weeks, I’m looking forward to it and trying hard to get used to a daily routine.

Job interviews

2010-03-01T22:47:00.001+01:00

I had one today, got a ‘wake up phone call’ in the morning, updated my CV and ran there :) The woman I should work with was very nice. They only started looking for employees a few days ago but she said she will try to speak with the director this week and get me on 1st place :) And the place is located 10 minutes from us by foot so it seems I would love it!
Tomorrow I’ll have another interview for a correspondent job but I don’t really like that one… It would be better than nothing but today’s possible ‘catch’ made me forget about all the others :D
I’m quite exited now…

Last week I got some new vitamins to try if they work for me. Since then I hadn’t got a headache and have started to feel having more energy so they must know something! :) The following weeks will decide.
Also spring seems to arrive soon, now we can keep windows open for hours during the day. I bought something to cheer myself up, wanted it for a long time and now I’ve found the perfect piece, look:

It has a very calming sound and lights also

Now it’s bedtime, I have to be fresh tomorrow :)

Looking for a job!

2010-02-13T21:34:00.001+01:00

This week I finally got the pensioner title :D Received all the documents and discount train coupons :P But the most important thing is that from now on I can look for a job. Already refreshed my CVs and sent them to some agencies that provide employees for companies who are looking for people with ‘reduced capacity to work’. From this year companies over 20 employees get a tax reduction if they employ such people and many of them started looking for us only to get the financial benefit but who cares if I get a job?! :P
I’m looking for a home-based job and am very curious how things will go. At least I got my pension from 1st November and I can pay the school and the language course now and will have a regular income to relieve my family. My sister (22) is also looking for a part-time job, we’ll see.

I felt hope that for this year my case at allianz will be solved but still nothing and my lawyer doesn’t seem to care at all. Sometimes I wish he would live through all the things I did and he would be a much better man and a conscientious lawyer.

Have a great weekend you all!

January

2010-02-01T20:03:00.001+01:00

I am so sorry, I’ve been very lazy lately. But it may be a sign of getting back to normal :P To be honest one of my new year resolutions was to blog regularly but I don’t seem to make it so far :)

First of all (if everything happens as I planned) from the end of March I go to school. Better to say I take a course. 1 year, correspondence course, takes only 1 day/2 weeks at the school. Yet I don’t have the whole amount to pay for it but I have 6 weeks… I still have some hope that I get some advance payment from allianz but I’m so tired of them that I rather don’t think of them.
The other problem still to be solved is that I only have a dying laptop :D As I can’t use the mouse I will have to take my own laptop with me. So it has to be sent back to HP again, for the 2nd time in less than a year… I also have fear of going to the course in winter but I have a year to get used to it and to recover and feel better about the injury. I think I will be much calmer once I see an x-ray picture that shows more bones in there.

In the past 3-4 days we had a lot of snow, it looks great from the window =)

Teljes album megtekintése

25

2009-12-30T00:47:00.001+01:00

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas like mine. More over I had my 25th birthday yesterday. Didn’t expect it to be especially remembered but turned out that my family thinks other ways… I even got a cake, can’t remember the last time I got a b’day cake!
The best gift came from the pension insurance. I had an examination in November and then received their statement, saying that according to their opinion I have no health impairment due to the accident! :D I appealed asking for a new and correct examination and yesterday I got their letter with a much more correct decision. I just need to send them my documents but it is a bit hard this time. I had the belief that my labour relation expires at the end of October but the accountant told me last week that she rather keeps me until 31th December (without salary) just to end the year. Now I have to wait for them to start working and make my papers but I have 10 working days to send them… Anyway this part of my life seems to be solved.

An ex-colleague of mine tries to help me getting a job or at least some help/advice what kind of a course should I take to obtain the job I desire. We’ll see.

Those at Allianz are still being assholes. We decided to take legal action in order to convince them. Of course more documents are needed but I already got used to this. I’m almost done. They don’t really want to pay, try to lower all the amounts and decline everything they can, this is why we rather go to the court. I’m fucking fed up with them, wish they would live through the same things I do/did.

I hardly tolerate this cold weather, have constant pain and can’t sleep. I take 1 painkiller at night and the pain is gone but usually I’m up until 3-5 and just can’t beat this insomnia. I even tried to wake up early and being busy through the days, I was tired but couldn’t sleep. Also don’t want to take sleeping pills and get used to them. I believe that things will get better when I bring some order into my life and days.

I can’t explain but somehow I feel that this 2010 will be a good year finally. I plan big changes because I had some miserable months recently. Sometimes I feel I must have a total brainwash to start with a blank page…

I haven’t been so positive for a long time. The first step is to spend my Christmas money tomorrow and cheer me up :D

I spend terribly much time on facebook… Always been a type who opens faster/easier online. Started some games, added people and now I have a little community amongst them who became very good friends. The best thing about them is that they don’t know me. They don’t know my past nor my present and they never ask about my feelings and the state of my cases. Yesterday I had so many birthday greeting as never before. Christmas was the same, whilst 3 of my ‘real friends’ or better say the people who I belived were my friends decided to send me a greeting… However it’s not a sore point anymore. The first Christmas after my accident I wrote to many people who I felt close to me, little percent of them replied or I just felt they did just not to be rude :D The next year I wrote only to a few and this year to nobody, waiting for who will remember me :D Well, that 3 people. One of them was a chain-letter :D It feels bad but got much better with the years.

I’m getting older, 25 and still without a life, I really look forward to making changes :) Now I feel ready both mentally and phisically. Wish me good luck! :P

Photo update

2009-12-30T00:34:00.001+01:00

This has been told the final state, I’m pretty sure the scars will change by the time but for now this is how it looks and how I can stretch my elbow:

Teljes album megtekintése

x

2009-12-24T23:07:00.001+01:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL MY FRIENDS AND READERS:)

Nothing special

2009-11-05T21:10:00.001+01:00

We have been playing in one of the farest points of my country last Saturday. Even if we luckily won, the tour itself was definitely the worst I’ve ever had. I also caught a cold that became worse day by day. Today I cancelled Friday’s lesson and now I’m trying to get better since I want to go to this weekend’s home match.

Our parents want us to get the H1N1 vaccine but I feel very skeptic about any medicines and am afraid that it could cause more problems than how much it helps. We will talk it over the next days. At least I want to wait until my illness disappears. Maybe I already have swine flu from the redneck countryside cops that searched us?!

Finally I got a letter from the state pension insurance and we have an appointment next week. I’m very curious about how the whole thing will go…

And now let’s get back to the bed :P

Winter

2009-10-20T20:40:00.001+02:00

I’ve been down in the dumps in the last 1-2 weeks and had only a little improvement. Can’t remember when I was in such a bad mood.
Since now none of my cases wanted to move forward and now they started to run all together, that’s such a mess!
Moreover I hate this weather, it makes me not want to get up in the morning. The days are dark and cold and I have constant pain in my arm and usually in my head too (my weakest part :P).
I don’t remember whether I have already mentioned it or not but 3-4 weeks ago we have ended the physiotherapy.
I don’t have ‘compulsory’ programs now and I don’t go nowhere. Started to get weaker again, sleep too much and this makes me more and more sleepy and depressed. I’m thinking about how to overcome it but honestly I don’t know if I want to overcome it. I don’t really care about most things.

And here comes the better part.
Yesterday we got Portugal for November’s World Cup play-offs, away game is on 14th, home game is on 18th November. Tough opponent… But Bosnia secured the 2nd place by being tough as well, so I am still optimistic. And sooo curious! :P
By the way in 2 weeks I will have my first Bosnian written test! It has been postponed 2 or 3 times thus I can’t be sure but I can hope ;)

Last week I started pottering with shrink plastic and polymer clay and had a lot of fun :) Here are some of my best creations :P

Now I go to watch Champions League :)

Sorry…

2009-10-05T00:18:00.001+02:00

…for not posting for a long time. I’m alive Tonino :P
I have been very busy, have had to reject the job, finished physiotherapy and tomorrow I’m going to have an independent medical examination for the insurance company.

I will have more time and more posts soon :)

2nd place not secured but it’s closer…

2009-09-09T23:53:00.001+02:00

4’ Emre 0 - 1
25’ Salihović 1 – 1 (and Terim was sent to the changing room)

So many chances, so little luck… But it’s not bad at all against the Turks.

BOSNIA – Turkey 1 - 1
Odlične utakmice :)

GROUP 5 after 8 matches played
1. Spain 24 pts
2. BOSNIA 16 pts
3. Turkey 12 pts
4. Belgium 7 pts
5. Estonia 5 pts
6. Armenia 4 pts

2 matches remaining, 10th October Estonia (away) and 14th Spain (at home).
Last September’s results:
Bosnia – Estonia 7 – 0 and Spain – Bosnia 1 – 0.

Hajmo Bosno !!!!!

Unmatched feelings

2009-09-07T19:26:00.001+02:00

The bad news is that we don’t go to Bosnia :(
My friend wants to go later in October but I don’t know. I have 4 Italian matches in November that takes 5 days out I am sure I won’t be able to get any more. While on the other side travelling 2,5 days for spending a weekend in Bosnia is just ridiculous. I wanted to stay there for 5-7 days and was waiting for this for 2,5 years. Have bought euros already but I’m afraid of going alone.
Well, that’s it. I can’t say that I’m surprised as it took 2 months for him to decide.
Now I’m gonna look for a round trip with my sister. I need something to cheer me up :P

The good news are the results from Saturday :)
If we could fuck the Turks on Wednesday we would not have anything to worry about the 2nd place and still have the chance to get to South-Africa. But in case if we lose there would be slight chances… Hmmm.

Last week I received a call from the language school, they told me that my teacher would like to have longer lessons (90’ instead of 60’) as we always run out of time. I am pretty happy when I find myself understanding something I read on the internet :D
Anyway expanding my vocabulary makes me crazy, there is so much to learn… So I need to go now!!!

I got the job :)

2009-08-29T13:37:00.002+02:00

Yesterday I have attended the second interview and met the HR assistant as well. After 20 minutes they decided to hire me. Now we wait for an approval from the mother company and then we can agree on the starting date. (That must be at the middle-end of September).

I’m very happy but I am already planning the November matches :) Seems I will have 4 Italian matches and they’ll take 5 days out… Not easy but we will solve it. I know I’m not gonna be able to completely continue my ‘old life’ with going where I want and when I want but I am also not going to give up the only thing that makes me happy.

We start with a 3-month probation so we will see how it works. I really want to work and I don’t care if I have to stay in the office until midnight on certain days but I need motivation. And my motivation is my ‘freedom of travelling’ :)

Week 34

2009-08-21T17:53:00.001+02:00

I'm sooo bored. I had physiotherapy on Tuesday but yesterday was a public holiday in our country so we had to skip the other one. Moreover my Bosnian teacher is in Sarajevo for the film festival so we had lesson neither last week nor today…

I went to the job interview on Wednesday, that was not so bad :)
I spoke only 10 minutes (as I already know the company and their projects) with a man and I have been told that he will call me in 1-2 weeks time if I have to go for a second interview (that time with the HR colleague). But he also asked me to write longer (2 page) CVs for their colleagues in Belgium because they like that more there… So I have a big task again. I was suffering at the first one with deleting things to fit 1 page and now I can write them down again :) The Hungarian one is already done now I just have to translate it.
He advised me to write an Italian CV as well but I’m not sure whether it’s a good idea to do it with my Italian :) Anyway he opened my eyes that I should continue working on my Italian because they have a big retail partner there thus it would be a good point for the customer care to have somebody who speaks Italian.
Here I promise if they hire me I will start improving my knowledge :)

I would like this job, the place is very nice, I already know a lot of people there, good salary and this is all official, not like at my last (current) place where everything is a MESS :)
The only bad point is that I was counting with October start while now he told me he would need me from mid-September… And this could ruin the end of my Bosnian vacation.

The program is almost ready, I want everything to be fixed by the time I get there.
The main problem is that I still can’t be sure about the kick-off time! Some sources tell 20.00, others tell 20.45. The Budapest – Sarajevo train arrives daily at 19.47 to Zenica, so the 20.45 kick-off would be just perfect for me. But 20.00… In that case I go to Sarajevo on 8th September then travel back to Zenica on the next day. I could get off the train in Zenica but it’s hard to find a hostel there so I rather go down to Sarajevo and sleep there 1 night.
Later I go with a friend and stay at their house for 3-4 days until weekend’s league match. Then I want to stay in Mostar for some days and also planned some in Sarajevo but if I get the job I should be at home for 14th :(
So (if they hire me) I’ll try to lengthen it until 16th or 17th September. Hope we can do it because I was waiting for this for months!!! And if I get a job I will not be able to travel when I want so I deserve this indeed :))))
Later I would better not ask for any days off and do my best because I want to go to the World Cup too and that won’t be a 3-day one as well… ;)

Fingers crossed

2009-08-15T15:09:00.001+02:00

Last Friday I have sent my CVs (Hungarian and English) to a company. I’ve been working for them in summers during secondary school and now one of their departments is looking for some employees. Yesterday I got a mail asking if I can attend a job interview on Wednesday. Of course I can :)

Oh no, I’m just kidding but this one was the most common picture in Google search for ‘job interview’.
I have other qualifications too :)

Istanbul photos

2009-08-10T01:28:00.001+02:00

Teljes album megtekintése

Istanbul away – Love it!!!

2009-08-05T22:15:00.001+02:00

I’m trying to manage my sick-pay things because they don’t transfer me any money since April’s surgery… I will write a longer post about my novadays, but first the most important thing:

Last Thursday we played in Istanbul against Fener in the UEFA Europa League. We lost 5-1, not surprisingly, but the tour was a very special one. Here is a short video I made about it, enjoy :)

Photos are coming soon also ;)

Fenerbahçe – Kispest / Budapest Honvéd
30th July, 2009 – Istanbul, Turkey

Italian-Hungarian post, sorry

2009-07-16T02:51:00.004+02:00

Ez az, mi egy nemzeté marad

Íme, így ölnek meg egy társadalmat. Így sározzák be a törvényt, a holtak emlékét, egy egész nemzet szavahihetőségét. A képek ott vannak a tv-ben, árulkodóak. A bíró felolvassa a vádat, a védelem ügyvédje hátrafordul majd ujjong, akár a stadionban. Viselkedése szánalmas, jelentéktelen, obszcén; se nem többé, se nem kevésbé, mint maga az ítélet. A nő az ügyvéd mögött nevet, rákacsint, tekintete egy állaté mely épp szétmarcangolt egy bárányt és megúszta. Mögöttük felkiáltanak az indulattól azok, akik már értik, hogy itt ismét nem lesz igazság, hogy a bűnök megtorlása nem az égben történik, hanem ezen a törvénytelenséggel és elnyomással bemocskolt földön. A védelem ügyvédjének foglalkozása szégyenletes, a becstelen ítélet feletti teljes elégedettségével szemen köpi a meggyilkolt fiú szüleit és barátait. Öntelt, elkékült képe mindannak a szörnyű arca, amivé ez az ország vált; egy ország mely nem képes fékentartani a szégyent, mely mocskos módon kimutatja a legszörnyűbb elnyomást, a mérlegelés semmibevételét, a igazak okainak erőszakos elhallgatását. Így ölnek meg egy társadalmat. Azok után, hogy egy emberéletre támadtak, s egy pillanattal azelőtt, hogy saját nevetséges lelkiismeretünkkel elszámolnánk, eltapossák a szánalmat és irgalmat. Néhány órával a Sandri halálával kapcsolatos per ítélethírdetése után (a zsaru 6 évet kapott az ügyészség által kért 14 évvel szemben - T) egy olasz hiradó által végzett közvéleménykutatás azt az eredményt hozta, hogy az olaszok többsége „arányosnak” tartja az első fokon kihírdetett ítéletet. Ez azt mutatja, hogy az olaszok többsége – ugyanaz a többség, akik a kémiai kasztrációt követelik (az országban sokan a ’visszaeső’ pedofilok és erőszaktevők hormonális ivartalanításáért lobbyznak, mint kényszermegoldás - T), mely az inkvizíció egyik kínzóeszköze volt, s, amely súlyos esetekben a delikvensek halálát okozta – úgy gondolja, hogy előre megfontolt szándékkal fegyvert emelni egy emberre és megölni, majd megúszni a börtönt „arányos”. Etel Adnan, a nagy libanoni költő egyik versében olvasható: „A gyilkosok nem állnak meg az emberéletnél, a láthatatlant keresik.” Tegnap az olasz nép nevében a láthatatlant is megtámadták; egy közvéleménykutatásban megelevenedett demokratikus közösség az állam undorító tettének cinkosává vált. És ez az (a szégyen), mi egy nemzeté marad.

Andrea "Orange", magyar ford.: én.

È quel che resta di una nazione

"Ecco come viene assassinata una società umana. Ecco come si infanga il diritto, la memoria dei morti, la credibilità di una nazione intera. Le immagini stanno lì, dentro la Tv, eloquenti. Il giudice legge la sentenza, l’avvocato della difesa si volta, fa un gesto di esultanza come allo stadio, il gesto è patetico, triviale, osceno, non di più e non di meno del contenuto della sentenza. La donna dietro l’avvocato ride, strizza l’occhio, ha gli occhi della bestia che ha appena sbranato l’agnello e l’ha fatta franca. Dietro di loro si levano le urla di indignazione di chi ha capito che ancora una volta non ci sarà giustizia, che la remissione dei peccati non è del cielo ma di questa terra infangata di illegalità e sopraffazione. L’avvocato della difesa fa un mestiere infame, il compiacimento professionale per l’ignobile sentenza è vomito sui parenti e sugli amici del ragazzo morto ammazzato, il suo volto tronfio e paonazzo è la faccia allucinante di ciò che è diventato questo paese, un paese che non sa contenere la vergogna, che esibisce spudoratamente le più mostruose vessazioni, le offese al pudore, le prevaricazioni violente sulle ragioni dei giusti. Una società umana viene assassinata così. Calpestando pietà e misericordia, dopo l’offesa della carne, e un istante prima di fare i conti con la nostra ridicola coscienza. A poche ore dalla sentenza del processo per l’omicidio Sandri un sondaggio commissionato da un tg nazionale ha decretato che la maggioranza degli italiani ritiene “equo” il verdetto emesso dalla giuria di primo grado. Ciò significa che la maggioranza degli italiani – la stessa maggioranza che reclama castrazioni chimiche, torture da inquisizione e pena di morte per i delitti più gravi – ritiene che impugnare un’arma per sparare intenzionalmente a una persona e scampare la galera sia “equo”. In un verso della grande poetessa libanese Etel Adnan si legge: “Gli assassini non si fermano alla carne, cercano l’invisibile”. Ieri in nome del popolo italiano anche l’invisibile è stato violato, e una comunità democratica nell’anonimato di un sondaggio è diventata complice di un abominio di stato. È quel che resta di una nazione."

Andrea "Orange"

14 years after

2009-07-11T10:19:00.001+02:00

Fresh photos

2009-07-03T01:47:00.001+02:00

Just a photo update for the ones who care :P

I look like a hobbit or some similar creature as my upper arm is shorter than it was. This is because of the broken (and missing) bone. It looks weird. I have a lot of pain at my elbow especially on bad-weather-days. Also my fingers are always in this position, it takes a bigger effort to stretch them.

Well… This looks better than before April’s surgery. Even if it doesn’t count much…
I wish I could use it :(

Garden photos

2009-06-25T10:45:00.001+02:00

Yesterday I was bored so I decided to go out and take some photos in our garden. Here they are:

Teljes album megtekintése

June

2009-06-21T23:53:00.001+02:00

I caught a cold and was in bed for more than a week. That time I have been sleeping a lot and now I can’t sleep at all for more than a week… I just lay in the bed, try to fall asleep but sometimes I’m awake even at 6 when my mother goes to work. When I manage to sleep some hours I have weird dreams and wake up very often.

Last week I finally found a school where I can learn Bosnian. This Friday I already had my first lesson. I enjoyed it a lot.
Somehow I found the best time to start learning as this weekend there was a Bosnian films’ weekend in a Budapest cinema. Yesterday I have seen 2 films in a row, chosen out of 6.

Next week I should go to have some correction on my tattoo. I have a star that has only 1 layer of ink and it needs to be fixed before I leave it in this condition.

Today I made a collage of my favourite postcards that I have bought during my foreign trips. I collect a lot of things, I will post some photos in the upcoming days.

I also have plans to ‘upgrade’ my aquarium with new soil and perhaps some fishes…

Hungarian Cup final - 26th May, 2009.

2009-06-06T14:54:00.001+02:00

Kispest – Győr

Teljes album megtekintése

End of season

2009-06-05T20:45:00.001+02:00

Thanks to some good results on the last matches Velež stays in 1st league. Hopefully next season I will be able to attend in the stadium.

Milan arrived 3rd what makes me very happy after the disastrous start of the season. I may see them on the AUDI Cup in München this July. (Just like Boca Jrs, ManU and Bayern). I don’t like Germans and Germany but I think I will go if nothing crosses my plans.

Another shit season for Kispest in the championship, we were nearly relegated to the 2nd league. But another Hungarian Cup win for the same squad, and another chance to prove on the European stage…
That’s mysterious how different results we had in the 2 series.

Photos to come in a following post.

Now I look forward to watching the World Cup qualies and have my fingers crossed for a Balkan World Cup :)

Online again

2009-06-05T19:53:00.001+02:00

I had a winchester crash, got a new in 2 working days but all my correspondence from the last half a year has been lost. Letters from doctors, lawyers, insurance, colleagues etc… Fortunately I usually save everything attached to letters but having a letter itself is a much safer way, you know, have something in written form is better if we go to the court. And we do! :)

Now I need to collect and scan a lot of past invoices and other documents then in some weeks we do what we have to as there is no way to an agreement with allianz out of court. They just keep to fray my nerves with their fuckin’ negligance and stonewalling. I hate them so much!

**************************************************

Concerning the mental problems I needed to consult a psychiatrist as those morons only accept anything if I have a paper about it. Well, that is really funny that they say if a doctor doesn’t state that I had/have psychic problems then it means I do not have any.
So I went to a doctor but he said what I was afraid of, that one appointment is worth of nothing. 2 minutes were enough for him to have me collapsed and I broke out in tears. I’ve been told that I can bury the whole thing now but it will come up someday and it will again poise my life. I’ve had such a big brake in my life that I need therapy and medication :( I never wanted to speak about my deepest feelings with a psychiatrist but I am worried about having severe problems later and losing control of them… I want to recover now and forget this for the rest of my life.

**************************************************

This is the bigger part of my weekly medicines

Last week I finally had my x-rays done. By the way the guy at the machine was so retarded that he took 8 pictures to have what me and my local doctor asked for. I’m very fed up with these daily little trials to harden my life. In this country nothing can be done at first. You need a paper to be able to get another paper, you need to pay if you want doctors, lawyers treat you well (of course there are always some exceptions) and all those national institutes are so big that you can never talk to the same person twice and they can never bring a decision themselves…

Anyway, here is the fresh picture.

After spending a month at home I’ve been told to miss physiotherapy for one more because of the weakness of the newly transplanted bone graft. I have to do excercises at home but can not move the arm intensively like before, in the hospital.
Waiting makes me mad.

I have no more open wounds and the scars are healing nicely. Usually I only have to take painkillers for the nights.

I'm alive

2009-06-02T12:38:00.002+02:00

My laptop died last week, hopefully I will be back in a week.

World Cup

2009-05-05T16:19:00.001+02:00

I forgot to mention that I have my tickets to the World Cup 2010… Only the team has to qualify now :) I trust you guys…

At home again – Part 2

2009-05-02T22:12:00.001+02:00

28th April, Tuesday – aaaand the big day has come!
I had to attend the police (traffic patrol headquarter) today. My sister escorted me and helped me to take all the documents needed.
As I have already mentioned an investigation is under way to determine the driver’s responsibility in the accident. Unfortunately the police hasn’t got too much stuff concerning the case so I’ve been told that they have no clue when this investigation will be finished and when they can bring a charge against that spunk. Anyway I’m happy that something seems to happen now.
I made a confession, presented my medical documents, pictures of my injury and the scene as well. The police officer said she has got almost no pictures about the bus/scene so after coming home I have sent my originals to her by e-mail.
A crime doctor will be detached for me to see my medical documentation and current state of health, but he might say he has to wait until the end of the recovery process to be able to state anything.

29th April, Wednesday – Today I had a huge task. I have loads of pictures on my laptop taken in the past 4-5 years but I can’t show them to anybody in person. So on Saturday I selected and ordered some hundreds of them to have them printed out. I have found a cheap and fast company which has fulfilled my order in only 4 days including shipping! I got the pictures at about noon and organized them for 4-5 hours =)
Now I have albums full of my pictures taken during my journeys and football matches as well.

30th April, Thursday – Tomorrow is public holiday and we hate crowd so we rather chose today for going to the local ‘safari park’. I have heard many times recently that it's been renewed, new animals are brought but we were very upset seeing that it is almost in the same condition as 10 years ago. They got some new information boards but a slight number of animals and species; have the souvenir shops and buffet closed; the cages are dirty, some animals have little habitat and are totally alone etc. In the long run it was sad to see them under such circumstances :( I am sure we will not go back in the next ten years… Rather we plan to visit the Budapest Zoo next week if I do not have to stay at the hospital.

Teljes album megtekintése

1st May, Friday – Amongst some other things we are collecting minerals. So today we went to 2 old strip mines to try our luck. The first one was my ‘wish’ and I really enjoyed it but after yesterday’s trip my sister and I both have muscle strain so the second one was too much for us. It is far from the road, the quarry is on a steep slope, the weather was hot and at the top of it all I am not really fond of trilobites… It was hard to get that little petrified shell :)

2nd May, Saturday – Today I was having a rest for real, staying at home, watching matches and blogging ;)
I still have a strong pain in my arm and my old medicines do not seem to be useful for this kind of pain. (After the accident I rather had ‘nerval pain’ while this one now comes from the bones.) My hand is very sensible and it makes it hard to use it for anything. After the match I will have a hot bath then I change the bandage. I still need to have strips on the whole arm as other ways it gets swollen. 2 days ago I thought I don’t need it for the night and the day after I woke up with a 2 times bigger arm :) I am more careful now.

At home again – Part 1

2009-05-02T16:41:00.002+02:00

I arrived home 2 weeks ago but I still can’t find my place…
Now I try to sum up the last fortnight.

20th April, Monday – My father and sister came to Graz to bring me home. It’s usually a 4-5-hour-long drive so I knew they will come at about noon. Administration for leaving patients finishes around 12 as well, then I only needed to speak with my plastic surgeon. He had a look at the new x-rays and took me to a consultation with a trauma surgeon. (My surgeon wanted to know what the traumatologist thought about the loadability of the bones). I got a cast to be worn during the nights to avoid causing any damage while I sleep. We need to have an x-ray 3 weeks after coming home and checkup is due in 3-4 months (depending on how the healing- and bone building process go).

21th April, Tuesday – I went to the hospital to ask about further tasks but my doctor was not there so I went back the day after

22th April, Wednesday – Next Monday I will get rid of the stitches, this week I need to rest at home, now I can not move my arm because of the pain. I also have a constant pain in my hip (where the bone tissue has been transplanted from) that makes it hard to walk, stand, lay and everything I do… I knew the bone will be taken from my hip but I haven’t got any idea how it works. Now I know:

It looks bad… And hurts!

After the hospital I went to my family doctor. I asked for an appointment the day before. He was not there. More over, nobody was there… After waiting 20-25 minutes his replacement doc came in for 10 minutes then he said he has to go because his car is parking on a wrong place. (I see him regularly on the bus so I don’t even believe that he has a car…) In the past 1,5 years it’s been the 6-8th occasion that my doctor was not in the office during his consulting hours. Anyway I got some prescriptions (no major changes in my recent medication) and left the office.

During the next some days I was mainly at home and tried to have a rest.

27th April, Monday – I was at the hospital to have the stitches taken out. The hip is ok, looks nice (had 5 stitches), the scar on the arm is senseless so pulling out the stitches didn’t hurt but the bones themselves make a lot of pain when I try to stretch the elbow.

Before After

My physiotherapist has a week off, so I have been told to stay at home, take care of the wounds and go back a week after.

I go home today

2009-04-20T09:11:00.002+02:00

Now I have some things to do, go to the x-ray and prepare papers but today I can be taken to home. I will write much longer posts in the upcoming days, but I was devastated in the previous time. I/we have lost a wonderful person who was very close to my heart. He has been killed and it just came so fast that nobody can understand why that happened or how that happened…

Surgeries done

2009-04-17T12:51:00.003+02:00

I was scheduled to be taken to the operating room at 9 on Wednesday, but allianz still hadn’t agree with the hospital’s insurer.
Then I fall asleep and nurses woke me up at about 12.00 saying that now I can go. Up in the ward I got a medicine to sleep so I do not even remember the preparation process.
It was a fast surgery, took only 1-2 hours. I have been awaken in the monitoring room, then soon taken back to my ward. (I’m in the same ward as after the accident!).

Spongiosa plastic (replacing the missing bone in my arm) and scar-correction have been done, the bone graft was taken from my left hip. It hurts more than my arm!! Sometimes I nearly can’t stand up. Hopefully it will heal in some days.

Today nurses changed my bandage but I have too much bleeding (have a drain in the wound) so we have to wait 2 more days to decide when I can go home. Anyway my arm does not hurt too much, I just don’t dare using it :) I haven’t seen the wound because it is taped but it looks definitely better than before. The arm is a bit swollen up but not so badly. Hope the bleeding will be fewer and I can go home at the beginning of the next week.

My family comes to visit me tomorrow.

allianz again

2009-04-14T12:48:00.003+02:00

10 minutes ago a woman was here from the hospital’s insurance company. She said she has no document from allianz and they did not receive any payment… I searched back my e-mails, the allianz bitch sent me on 13th January that they have sent the letter to the hospital and that they asked them (H) to send the invoice directly to them (a)… Now here they are searching for the mysterious letter. And I am waiting…

I am in the same room I was after the accident

Here I am!

2009-04-13T18:09:00.002+02:00

Well, I arrived to Graz at 12:30.

Cupping, ultrasonography, x-ray. I have seen my new radiographs and they still don’t look good :) During dinner-time I had to go to the anesthesiology. I will have 2 surgeries on Wednesday. It is always hard to hear and agree that during the surgeries I can get Hepatitis, AIDS, nerve-paralysis and such things.

Tomorrow I only have a short program here then I have a free day!!! I think I should go to the inner city where we were last April-May (?) when I have been here for control. We were in a park where there were ducks, flowers and oxygen :)

Or… Just sit here somewhere and drink some bier? ;)

Mmmmmmh… I have just met my plastic surgeon and he said I do not need the vein surgery!! The circulation is better than at the control and also the ultrasonography showed no outstanding problem. We will see how the scar correction goes. So I may stay here for a couple of days only!!!!! He thinks it might be less than a week. Wow…

Mostar – Bosnia and Herzegovina

2009-04-06T00:00:00.002+02:00

We have spent a weekend in Bosnia in May, 2007. Arrived to Sarajevo on Friday by train, went to Mostar in the next morning, spent a day there then on Sunday morning we travelled back to Sarajevo. There is a direct daily train on the Budapest – Sarajevo route which is affordable for young travelers. I was with a friend from my hometown and we had a great time in Bosnia.

We didn’t have too much time in Sarajevo because of the schedule but next time we go back for a longer trip. We have planned to go back in the beginning of November for Zrinjski – Velež but the accident smashed our journey (as well) :(

Sarajevo – Our accommodation was in a hostel in the Baščarsija (old town). We arrived in the afternoon thus we did not have a lot of time to look around so we only took a walk to the nearby places.

Next morning we walked down to the tram stop but we finally had to take a taxi to the train station. I knew that Mostar will be beautiful but the sight and the feeling were beyond my imagination…

Our hosts came to the train station to pick us up in the morning. After getting our keys we left our backpacks in our room and headed for the sightseeing!
Mostar

14th weekend summary

2009-04-05T15:14:00.003+02:00

Kispest – Győr 0-0
Next week we go to Székesfehérvár on Saturday. I am a bit confused because this will be my last match for a period and I would like to go by bus with the guys. But my friend wants me to go by car… I should rather stay at home :))))

Milan – Lecce 2-0! Goals in the 91st and 94th minutes!!

Velež - Čelik 3-1. I miss Mostar a lot and this is always harder when Velež plays at home. Now I know what will be the subject of my next post! :)

As soon as I will get well and feel safe I’m going to travel, travel and travel to compensate myself for the recent times :D Bosnia is a main destination for a longer journey but I also want to go back to Sardinia, visit Portugal and see St. Pauli at Heiligengeistfeld in Hamburg. Later if when I will be rich I’m gonna make some South-American tour.

Now I’m really looking forward to having BiH amongst the World Cup participants. I have already signed up for a team follower ticket, draw will be held on the 15th April if I remember right… That would be a marvelous experience in South-Africa. Of course first they have to qualify, but I’m very confident of the team :)

Moreover if you have a look at the group standings right now, many nice clashes are possible. I am not really interested in any more top-team (except from the Squadra Azzurra!!!) matches like Denmark, Germany, Spain, Turkey, England or Holland but look at these ones who are in a good position: Hungary, Croatia, Bosnia, Serbia…

Even if I’m not fond of the Hungarian (2nd) national team, a year ago I would never expect them to overtake Portugal (3rd) and Sweden (4th)…

See the current standings at the FIFA official site.

7 days remaining

2009-04-05T14:27:00.002+02:00

The tension is growing as the day of departure is coming. I spend my days with organizing my home tasks, getting documents, travel stuff etc.

My uncle borrowed me his modem and brought me a net card that I can charge out there in Austria. Now I have to tidy up my notebook and put some movies onto it :)

This week I’ll have some additional x-ray and lab examinations.

My tattoo is still healing, getting a bit brighter and smoother but I made a photo:

KISPEST 1909

World Cup

2009-04-05T00:32:00.003+02:00

Both my teams got a goal in the last few minutes, but I’m happy with the results. Italy played with 10 men from the 3rd minute (1-1) while Bosnia won 2-1 with Džeko’s 2 goals in the first 15’.

Italy still leads group 8 while BiH is 2nd in group 5.

Great night

2009-03-28T23:43:00.003+01:00

I chose to watch Belgium – Bosnia-Herzegovina tonight and I made the best choice! BHF was in its usual form ;) Both my teams have won, I’m happy.

Belgium – Bosnia-Herzegovina 2-4

Montenegro – Italy 0-2

I can’t wait for Wednesday’s match in front of home crowd!

God exists!

2009-03-27T13:09:00.002+01:00

Yeeeesssss!!!!!
Finally after 17 months, the Staatsanwaltschaft Graz (hell knows what’s that in English) reported the driver and an investigation started on 16th March. We have to wait for 2 months now. If my country is righteous… he will be JAILED and I will be FUCKIN’ GLAD with it!!!! I wish him the gayest cellmates ever! (Er… maybe he would be happy to get them?!)

Here is the product of Mr. Just-looked-away-for-a-second…

Alghero – Sardegna - Italia

2009-03-26T22:55:00.002+01:00

In 2007 a month before the accident I have visited a friend of mine in Italy. We have been planning it for a long time and I was quite happy to finally being able to go and see him again. I flew from Budapest to Milano (bus transfer to Torino) then from Torino to Alghero. Everything went well except that they lost my luggage between Budapest and Milano :) Now it is funny but that time I was not happy… I have missed the transfer bus because I had to make a claim, then I had to buy a new ticket to the bus. I arrived in the evening and slept in Sassari. Next they I bought some underwear to change and then I have spent a week on a beach without clothes and money :) But it was the best summer of my life so far so I can’t complain… During the flight back I went to the lost and found in Milano and got my luggage back. They have found it after I left the airport. Thanks Alitalia…

Alghero is just the perfect city for me. You can walk along it without the need of any public transport. The days were very hot so I usually had my tasks done in the morning than I enjoyed doing nothing in the rest of the day :) And we made long walks in the evening. Unfortunately my video camera was stolen too after the accident, but I have my pictures. And my memories :)

Teljes album megtekintése

Loads of tasks

2009-03-26T22:08:00.002+01:00

Tomorrow I will have my tattoo finished in the afternoon.

I am still waiting for my sick-pay for almost 3 weeks. I hate this system. They pay when they want…

Now I have only about 2 weeks remaining before I go to Graz. Next week I have to undergo a lot of examinations and get some documentation from my local doctors and hospital. EKG, x-ray, medicine-list etc…

Meanwhile I have to think about what to take to Graz and buy the missing things. I need some kind of internet access. Or who knows.. Maybe it would be better to feel far from everything in those 2 weeks? (Funny that my Hungarian hospital has internet access but the Austrian not. But people usually spend only a few days there while here they stay in the hospital for weeks during the rehab).

I feel a bit disappointed of not knowing what will happen. I have a lot of plans and would like to be sure about my future, while I don’t see even my following days. The pressure is growing and I feel lonely in this situation.

I want to move to somewhere far away when I am fine. Italy or Bosnia are my favorite destinations. I speak some Italian, but I want to learn Bosnian as well.

I will write about my most liked places that I have visited or I want to visit.

Ultras Kispest

2009-03-24T15:38:00.002+01:00

Great tour, bad weekend

2009-03-24T15:06:00.004+01:00

We played at Zalaegerszeg last weekend, scored in the 2nd half and got a goal a few minutes before the end... So the result was 1-1. That wouldn't be bad for an away match but we did not play well.

After our match we have visited the Siófok - Haladás match in the guest sector. We arrived in the 2nd half and got a warm welcome from the guys. The score was 0-0 in the regular time, then in the last seconds of the 2' added time Haladás scored and won the match!

I had a lot of fun during the whole tour, this has been the best of a long period for me.

The next away match is against Székesfehérvár on 11th April, the last before my surgeries. This is always a thrilling one.

I should be in Hungary for Haladás - Kispest in May, but I will be in the hospital and who knows how will I feel that time... If I will be allowed, I will surely go to Szombathely.

Weekend's summary

ZTE - Kispest 1-1

Slavija - Velež 2-1

Napoli - Milan 0-0

ZTE - Kispest

New tattoo

2009-03-13T17:34:00.002+01:00

I had my 3rd tattoo made today, we only have some little parts to be finished in 3 weeks.

I wanted to get it until I have to go out to Austria. Photo is coming after healing! :)

Easter in Graz :)

2009-03-13T17:26:00.003+01:00

Today I got a mail from my doctor to let me know that I have to go to Graz 2 days earlier. That is 13th April.

I only have to sleep 31 nights :D

News

2009-02-24T23:43:00.004+01:00

I have been very busy lately.

We had a lot of snow and most days I am at home, but have a lot to do.

I got a letter from Graz with a list of test to be done before I go to the hospital.

On the other side the bus driver went to law and we will have a litigation as he is stating he has no knowledge of having caused any damage/harm to the agency and/or to his colleagues :D

Oh, that man is sooo sick.

After killing 3, having our bus stoned, causing several injuries to some of us, he is saying he has 'no knowledge of having caused any damage'... That's having a thick skin!

Tomorrow we go to have my 3rd tattoo designed, I want it before Graz.

This time it will be a red-black one for my teams.

2009 marks the centenary year of Budapest (Kispest) Honvéd, my Hungarian club of my heart.

On Saturday we played our 1st (away) match of the season, losing 3-1.

The weather was chilly, the team was er... you see.

Why I wanted to attend this game is that we played against Vasas away after the accident as well. I have a lot of nice memories from that match, but nothing reminded me to them on Saturday... Okay, the same player scored our only goal, I still sleep in his jersey :) But this was the only good point.

I was standing at the end of the terrace with a friend of mine, one of the few who remained beside me. I no longer have the feeling of belonging to somewhere, but I miss the matches and tours we had 2-3 years ago :(

This is from an Ultras Kispest mate

2009-02-09T14:41:00.001+01:00

LOL, somebody misses the bus...

2009-02-09T14:37:00.001+01:00

An average weekend

2009-02-09T00:18:00.003+01:00

I had a lot of pain recently. Perhaps because of the weather.

(I've always been sensible for the weather changes since I have broken my lower arm in primary school).

A while ago I had to go to have physiotherapy every weekday, now 'only' 3 days a week. This filled my days out as I was very weak and slept a lot. I woke up, been taken to the hospital then got home and gone to bed. Now I go on my own, arrive home at about 12:00 and then I have so much time and do so few things. I hated not knowing what will come tomorrow. I think this will change a lot from now on, I will plan my days and try to use my time better.

I have started a correspondence course in January, I should learn more to keep the pace.

I also like reading, but have a lot of new books I didn't start reading yet.

This week I've installed one of my favourite games. I used to play a lot but now it's pretty hard with my left. I have a laptop now and this touchpad also freaks me out daily :)

During the weekends I usually watch matches. I love football, especially the Italians. I miss the feeling of the matches, can't wait to recover and feel safe again to be able to travel. I will never again miss on a chance to go.

I have a Hungarian club too, but since the accident I don't feel the same way when I go to a match. Most of my 'friends' have left me and I feel myself very unnecessary on the terraces. And it seems to be irreversible.

I still can't find a way out as it has been a far too big change for me to deal with. But that's another story.

Surgeries in April

2009-02-08T23:50:00.004+01:00

Yesterday I got the letter from Graz, I have to go to the hospital in April.

I'm a bit worried that I have too much time to think about the whole thing...

I would have been happier to go asap.

Well, on the other side now I have a date to count with and I can prepare to it.

Photos

2009-01-31T19:18:00.005+01:00

23rd November, 2007 - now

23rd November, 2007

1st December, 2007

21st December, 2007

January, 2008

February, 2008

July, 2008

Since then I didn't make any newer photos as it looks the same way except that it is a bit smoother and scars are stronger. During the plastic surgery some thick scars will be taken out to let me stretch my elbow more because now I can not do it.

Pictures coming

2009-01-31T02:35:00.001+01:00

Tomorrow I will post some pictures about the healing of the transplanted skin and the recovery process of my arm.

Medication

2009-01-31T02:12:00.006+01:00

I had a lot of pain after the accident but I got pain medication in infusion that made it easier. Some days before coming home doctors had to start decreasing my dose and later change it to pills. That was horrible. I felt that none of them was good enough and could not sleep during many nights.

When I arrived home we had to find out which medicine works that I can get here in Hungary. Some more sleepless nights... Finally I got a patch for my nerval pain that worked well. But I managed to totally leave it only some weeks ago. Now I only take pills, depending on the level of the pain. Usually nights are worse as I have a lot of things that draw my attention during the days. But when I go to sleep I start feeling that pulsating pain.

I still take a lot of other medicines like vein protector, nerve protector, stimulator for my blood circulation, bone fortifier etc. This is much better now as at the beginning I had twice as much as now.

Arriving home after the accident

2009-01-31T01:35:00.009+01:00

18th November, 2007 and the next weeks.

As I said I came home on 18th November.

I got a famous (HUN) plastic surgeon's address in Graz, I went to him for a consultation but he only changed my bandage and forwarded me to one of his former attendee. Some days later I went to that doctor to another hospital in Budapest in hope that he/they will undertake my physiotherapy. This was about the 10th disappointment in 5 days :)

That guy ("doctor") sent me to another prof who has invited all the staff into the examining room to see my arm... Hey, I'm not a monkey in a zoo.

Later he said that what 'the Austrians' did is baaaad and he will correct it. I have just arrived home after my 3 weeks in Graz, with 'broken soul' and open wounds, then this prof said he lets my wounds heal a bit and after he is planning a series of surgeries... And IF no infection or complication occurs, he will continue cutting me... Ah yeah. This was on Friday, he called me back for Monday. I said okay, I will be here and never approached him again :D

He really scared me and did not seem to be sympathetic. Neither his behaviour!

In 1-2 days a friend of mine gave me a lady doctor's number who helped me to get to my current hospital. Here I have a great physiotherapist, perfect treatment and everything I could ask for.

When I come home after the following surgeries, I'll have to stay at my local hospital for 3-5 weeks as my arm won't be loadable as much as is it now, so I'll have to have multiple treatments a day.

Surgeries

2009-01-31T01:29:00.002+01:00

Today I have been at my lawyer's, we had to discuss a lot of things.

Yesterday I've been reassured by Allianz that they are covering my surgery costs and that they have already sent this via fax to LKH Graz 2 weeks ago. Now I only have to wait for the date.

Photos

2009-01-27T23:41:00.006+01:00

29th October, 2007.

I just wanted to post some photos of the bus/location.

The operations

2009-01-27T20:46:00.013+01:00

29th October - 18th November, 2007.

I have been in the operating room for about 5-6 hours.
Since more than 2 hours elapsed before I was hospitalized at LKH, the doctors had to fix the bones fast. Then they had to restore the veins as well (one has been transplanted from my upper arm and another from my right ankle).

the miracle

I stayed in Graz for 3 weeks and had 4 surgeries in total. The last one was the skin grafting, taken from my right outer thigh.

My Hungarian team's last (away) match of the season was on 24th November (Tatabánya - Kispest) and I wanted to come home earlier to be able to go see my friends at the match. The skin grafting was on Monday and I've been told that if doctors find everything in order on Friday, I might come home in the weekend. I did :) My parents brought me home on 18th November, Sunday.

Uniklinik Graz

2009-01-27T00:24:00.010+01:00

29th October, 2007. 04:47-19:00

I was first carried to UGV, located in the north-western part of Graz. I think it took about 30 minutes to arrive. In the ambulance I was trying to lift my arm but only the little broken bone was moving. The ambulance woman told me I will be okay but in that situation I didn't care about her opinion :)
There was a boy in the ambulance too, we met in Milano before the match... He has been badly injured on his face, but he was trying to reassure me and said he is all right too.
He disappeared in the first hospital while I was being treated in an examination room. The doctors cut off my clothes and made photos of the injury, I suppose they have sent it to the next hospital. (On the original photo the time is already 05:37, 2,5 hours after the accident!) They called LKH Graz (aka Universitäts Klinikum) and forwarded me to there.

a blurred one from UGV

LKH is located in the east-western part of the city. I remember that here I was immediately taken to the operating room, people started asking me in German but despite of my 4 years of learning I did not understood much... We communicated in English, only spoke some sentences then a doctor told me to breathe and I fell asleep...
Sometimes I thought I am just dreaming, nothing happened then I opened my eyes and have seen the ceiling that made me realize that I'm in a hospital for real. I 'played' this 3-4 times before finally waking up. I felt the tube in my trachea, the thing I have always been scared of.
I called a nurse holding up my hand and asked her to take it out. She called the doctor and he agreed. I was very thirsty but I was not allowed to drink, only got little wet (tea?) sponges to suck. While thinking 'it sucks'...
Funny but it was a shock to realize that my arm has been replanted. Even if that time I did not know how much I will suffer with it.
There was a clock on the wall, it was about 6. I stupidly thought it's still in the morning, asked for my cell-phone and tried to call my best friend. (I have already tried to reach him from the ambulance while on the scene, but he was switched off) First I was surprised that he knows what happened, then he told me it's 6 in the evening. Right after him I ringed up my dad to tell him I'm still alive...
I had to answer some questions to a nurse then I slept again.

These days

2009-01-27T00:02:00.003+01:00

I still need surgeries that I wanted to be done in Graz by the profs I already know. It was a long 'fight' with the insurance company, but now they promised that they cover the costs of the Austrian treatment.
I am currently waiting for the date and I can go :)
Hopefully these 3 surgeries will be enough for a while...

Help is coming

2009-01-26T14:46:00.013+01:00

29th October, 2007. 03:05-04:47

When the bus stopped I was lying on my right side, half burried into the soil and debris. Did not feel much pain, but have seen that my arm is in the ground. I told my colleague that my arm should be somewhere in front of me (why did I think that? I just didn't know where I am), we scraped the dirt but it was not there. Then I moved a little and suddenly felt pain. I saw that my sweater is twirled back under my shoulder, so I asked him to scrape the soil off of me. Still nothing. Everybody got out of the bus, so did he.
I have heard people saying that we are at phone nr. 21, and screaming that nobody stops at the highway, even when they were showing them that we need help. I had my cell-phone in my jeans' pocket, but could not start an outgoing call. I wrote a message to my dad: we've crashed, need help and gave him the location. A bit sooner my aunt called me (she is more snappy in such cases) and I told them what happened. She then called the Hungarian Embassy in Vienna. I spoke with my father, told him that I'm 'okay', hurt my arm, I don't feel anything but didn't say what I expect.
I had a lot of time to think about it, I thought I'll lose it and was kinda reconsiled to it. After the past 15 months I still think that it would have been the easier way...
I remember a man, he was with his family, got them out of the wreck and came back to search for their bags. He told me everything will be okay, help is coming.
So, waiting for help I found my jacket on the back-rest in front of me and overlaid my upper-body. Then another man came in and took it off of me!! Che testa di cazzo...!

I think the firefighters came in about a half an hour, I didn't hear them but saw the yellow lights reflecting on the wreck. Soon a man came up to the bus and I shouted him "I'm here".
Even if we were in Austria, I was happy to hear that they speak in Italian :) (I just have an inexplicable love towards Italy and everything that's Italian)
That time things happened fast after each-other, but I have never lost my consciousness.
Firefighters brouhgt blankets, one for me and another to cover my head from the cutting blowpipe.
One of the worst memories is that after being cut out, I had to hold my arm with the left and walk along the bus to the skylight (as it was lying on its side). I was really scared to cause pain to myself or even hurt my arm more. Before getting out of the wreck, I've seen one of my deceased passangers, he is still in front of my eyes.

By the way I think I forgot to mention that I was working on the bus as a stewardess, I knew everybody.

of course the driver remained unhurt... he killed 3 and is living happily ever after
(but I hope not for a long time)

That is me on the stretcher; according to this photo I was taken out of the bus at 04:47.
(This will be important in some of the next posts)

The beginning

2009-01-26T13:16:00.009+01:00

Where to start it...

29th October, 2007. 03:05

After losing 0-1 to Roma at home, we were on our way back to Hungary by bus on the A2, Austria. The ******* driver either fell asleep or 'just' hadn't concentrate on the road, anyway he crossed the menacing and ran up to the crush barrier.

no mechanical problem and no sign of deceleration

Although it doesn't sound/seem to be serious, it was. We sled about 50 metres and stopped right at the roadside phone (nr. 21). The road bank is very rocky at that part of the highway, and the bus has been badly damaged on the right-hand-side. 3 were killed immediately. A mother (travelling with her kids and husband), a young woman (sitting next to her husband) and a young man (travelling alone). Sitting next to me was my colleague, escaped with some broken ribs. A friend of us suffered a broken spine, many had bruises on their limbs and had scars everywhere.
I was sitting next to the window and after that broke out, my right arm twirled around the window-column. Actually it's been torn off at the upper arm. I was the only survivor jammed in the wreck, waiting for the arrival of the firefighters.